Sunday, January 1, 2017

My Top 10 Least Favorite Films of 2016

        Well ladies and gentlemen it's that time of the year where I reflect on the of 2016 in movies and we see what films made me want to stop doing the blog all together and some where I wanted to punch someone in the face. Out of the 151 films I've seen this year, these films have the honor of being torn apart and never to be heard of again. With that being said I'm going to bring you my top 10 least favorite films of 2016 and the reasons why I hated each film and why they are on my list. So without further ado...





10. God's Not Dead 2
God's Not Dead 2 poster.jpg

        Faith based films might be the worst type of films in the world. They often portray Chrisitans as perfect people and people who are non-believers as terrible human beings when that's not even close to the truth. Being religious, these films embarass me and this film is no different as it portrays Jesus as a histroticla figure and compare his works to Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. when it should be the other way around. It's predicatble, cliched-ridden and it makes a mockery of Chritianity when it should be an inspiration,



9. The Masked Saint
The Masked Saint poster.jpg

        In an age where comic book heroes dominate the big screen, we often see smaller films try to jump on the train and gain success and most of the time they fail just like this film. It's about a pastor whose goal is to lead people to Christ through spreading the message and teach people about Jesus. Instead he decides he want to be a superhero and stop crime and in doing so he becomes a criminal himself. Now is that superposed to be inspiration of fulfilling your duties in teaching people that if they want to help, then don't teach,but fight people and be a criminal. It's a stupid premise and the fact that this is based on a true story is truly amazing.



8. The Darkness
The Darkness poster.jpg

        In a year when horror films made a big tim impact and some were even considered among the top 10 films of the year, we get this pile of trash film. It amazes me that horror films can be this stupid and predictable. We've seen this story before a million times and nothing about it is original. Going with the troupe of horror films, every single clichce you can think of is in the film. It's sad to see a guy like Kevin Bacon in this film because it looks as if throughout the entire film he doesn't seem to care and did it for a paycheck. This film should stay in the darkness.



7. How to Be Single
How To Be Single Poster.jpg

        Look being single it isn't always fun, but there are a few perks that go with it. However one thing I wopuldn't appreciate is being made of for being single. This film does that and assumes every guy in the world is a worthless pig. The girls in the film literally don't want anything to do with guys, then they do and when they get rejected or it doesn't work out they go back to not wanting a realtionship. It makes every motive of the characters really stupid and it makes the girls out ot be terrible people. Nothing in the film is funny which is shocking considering you have people like Rebel Wilson and Leslie Mann in the cast.



6. The Choice
The Choice (2016 film) poster.jpg

        You know what's bad about this film? I had completely forgotten that it had come out in this year it was so bad. Once again a Nicholas Sparks strikes absolute crap with anotheer story that has the same plot points and characters as every other film based on his books has had. The entire story makes every character seem really stupid and really terrible people so much so that you are rooting for something bad to happen to them. Theresa Palmer is a great actress and to see her in somthing like this makes me cringe and it amazes me that so many people see these types of films when they are exactly the same.



5. Gods of Egypt
Against a backdrop of Egyptian pyramids, an ensemble cast of Egyptian gods and humans on differing scales pose.

        In 1994, Alex Proyas directed one of my favorite films of all-time in The Crow and he went on to direct some other decent films. However in 2016 he decided to help release a pile of steaming garbage so bad that as the poor reviews came in, Proyas decided to criticize critics and stated the film was a masterpiece. Now in a sense he is right because we critics aren't the end all, be all answer to every film and everyone has their own opinion on certain films. However this film is god-awful and you should never watch this film. The CGI is ridiculously horrific and it honestly feels like a film that would've came out in the 1990's due to the CGI being that bad. Another big problem with the film is completely white-washing the cast when there should've been some Egyptian actors in the film and not make the film entirely white. In a year where racial tension might be at its highest since the 1960's, this could've been a film to help make those types of actors more promient.



4. When the Bough Breaks
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        Well look what we have here, another September film from Screen Gems that has the same premise but with a different title and the same actors, but in different roles. This film sucks terribly and it's an embarassment to filmmkaing The only reason why we keep getting these films is becasue people continue to get suckered into seeing these films for whatever reason. Films like this don't deserve to see the light of day. I'll go ahead and spoil the next film they do in that the third actor listed that is the bad guy will probably be very crazy and have weird intentions to harm the couple with the two lead actors.



3. Norm of the North
A big white bear ,walking in the city's streets, with three little otters over his shoulders and head, with a white T-Shirt of "New York" and the film's title, slogan and billing underneath him.

        For the longest time, I didn't think any film would top this atrocious animated film and shockingly this one only sits at number 3. This was originally supposed to be a TV film and you can automatically tell that from the beginning. Rob Schneider has to be the worst actor in Hollywood and the fact he is doing this type of film backs that statement up. I mean you probably expected him to do something like this, but this is just sad and utterly pathetic. The animation is sloppy, the story is beyond stupid and the fact this film had an $18 million dollar budget is astounding because nowhere in the film can you tell that they spent $18 million to make the film.



2. The Disappointments Room
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        I kind of think it was pretty obvious that this film would be in here simply based on the title alone. To be quite honest it's beyond a disappointment and it may be the worst horror film ever made and that's saying something when you have a a film like Birdemic floating around. This film was originally supposed to come out in 2014, but due to Relativity going bankrupt, the film was never released. flash forward to present day, the film was released this late was for two reasons. number one, the longer a film stays on the shelf means you have to put more money into keeping it and number two, to help clear the books and try to make some money off of it, it was released to try to help out. As for the film itself, just like The Darkness, this film has no plot and it has every cliche possible in a horror film. The one thing that makes this a worse film compared to that is that at least the acting is better in that film than in this one and that's not saying a whole lot.



1. Nine Lives 
Nine Lives poster.png

        As much as I love Kevin Spacey, I've never hated more in my entire life after watching this film. When you mix Click and The Shaggy Dog together, but change the animal to a cat you get this film, but you have no story, no comedic elements, cringe-worthy performances and just over-the-top silliness that doesn't make any sense. If you want to torture someone, then please let them watch this film. If I ever see this film again, I may quit blogging forever simply becasue I don't think I could through something as bad as this ever again.


        So ladies and gentlemen what are some of your least favorite films of 2016 and what do you think of my list? Let me know in the comments section below and let your voice be heard.

                                                                                                                           Jonah Sparks

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